


Let Me Down Slowly

by wash_my_brain



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Anger, Angst, Bargaining, Denial, Depression, Five Stages of Grief, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Not Canon Compliant, Song Lyrics, merlin dies instead of arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 10:10:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19271107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wash_my_brain/pseuds/wash_my_brain
Summary: With Merlin gone, Arthur struggles to move forward in a world lacking warmth.Based on the song Let Me Down Slowly by Alec Benjamin





	Let Me Down Slowly

_This night is cold in the kingdom_

_I can feel you fade away_

        Arthur sighed as he looked out the window to the courtyard below. Two weeks had passed since Merlin had sacrificed his life in place of Arthur, and every night since was the same. A cold chill fell over the castle and the sun could never quite chase it away. Arthur couldn’t sleep. When he closed his eyes, he saw nothing but the image of Merlin letting his final breath go, held tightly against his side. A whispered _“I love you”_ echoing through the air.

_From the kitchen to the bathroom sink and_

_Your steps keep me awake_

        No, Merlin couldn’t be gone. Arthur refused to accept a new manservant. He refused to allow someone new to serve to him. That would be admitting that Merlin was gone, and Arthur couldn’t do that. Not yet. Not while he swore he felt a presence in the room with him, walking from the door, to the bed, to the table.

_Don't cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste_

_I once was a man with dignity and grace_

_Now I'm slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace_

        Anger tore through Arthur on the practice field. How dare Merlin leave him? How dare he sacrifice his life? Arthur slashed down his sword, narrowly missing the leg of a new knight. But Arthur never saw his face. All he saw was red; anger pulsing through every vein. He didn’t notice Sir Leon had ended the training session until he finally looked up to the empty field, a cold breeze sending a chill through him.

_So please, please_

_“Please Merlin, come back to me. Please.”_

_Could you find a way to let me down slowly?_

_A little sympathy, I hope you can show me_

_If you wanna go then I'll be so lonely_

_If you're leaving baby let me down slowly_

        As Arthur climbed the last grassy hill, the Lake of Avalon finally came into view. Arthur slowly inched closer to the magical water. With resolve, Arthur took two steps into the lake, allowing the water to lap at his thighs. _“Whoever can hear me, please…Send him back. I'll do whatever it takes. I'll trade my life for his. Please, it should be me at the bottom of this lake, not him. I beg of you, please._ ”

        When his plea was met with silence, Arthur fell to his knees, water rising to his chest. With a final crack of his voice, he allowed the words he had never dared to speak, slip past his lips. _“Please, Camelot needs him. This world needs him. I need him.”_

_Cold skin, drag my feet on the tile_

_As I'm walking down the corridor_

_And I know we haven't talked in a while_

_So I'm looking for an open door_

        As he walked back through the citadel, Arthur could feel eyes on him. His cloak dragged from his shoulders, wet with a mixture of lake water and rain. He felt hollow. The anger had worn away to sorrow, resentment to grief. Nothing could bring Merlin back, and Arthur didn’t think he could cope with that. A world without Merlin was a world without warmth, energy, purpose.

_I once was a man with dignity and grace_

_Now I'm slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace_

_So please, please_

        Looking into the mirror, Arthur could see the shadows under his eyes. He could feel the sharp point of his bones under his skin. His life was seeping from his body, bit by bit. How had he fallen so far? He had once held his head high, eyes strong and heart full of passion and vision. He had let that die along with Merlin. Staring at his reflection, he could almost hear his voice. _“Clotpole what are you doing to yourself. I wouldn’t want this. I didn’t die for your kingdom to fall apart. Quite the opposite actually. Camelot needs you, this world needs you, magic needs you.”_

        Merlin had sacrificed everything for Camelot, for Arthur. With a final look into his eyes, Arthur knew he needed to move forward. He would not allow Camelot, the kingdom Merlin had helped him build, fall into pieces. Arthur would not lose every last piece of Merlin he had. He couldn't.

_Could you find a way to let me down slowly?_

_A little sympathy, I hope you can show me_

_If you wanna go then I'll be so lonely_

_If you're leaving baby let me down slowly_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading xx
> 
> This is my first work posted, so I would love to hear what you think.  
> Come find me on tumblr: a-king-and-his-warlock.tumblr.com


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